Worthy Wednesdays: Wellbeing

Issue #50 - Wellbeing requires enemies. Not metaphorical ones. Actual ones. This week, we're talking about what and who doesn't get to stay.

💡 Your body already knows who the enemies are. Your mind just keeps overriding it.

Pay attention to what happens in your body when certain people text you. When you walk into certain spaces. When specific topics come up.

The tightness in your chest. The knot in your stomach. The sudden exhaustion. The way your jaw clenches. The impulse to leave.

That’s not anxiety. That’s intelligence.

Your nervous system is giving you data. It’s telling you: This is not safe. This does not support my wellbeing. This must be refused.

Unfortunately we’ve been trained to ignore it. To override it. To spiritually bypass it with concepts like “radical acceptance” and “keeping your heart open” and “assuming good intent.”

We’ve confused discernment with judgment. We’ve mistaken self-protection for closed-heartedness.

What if wellbeing isn’t about learning to tolerate everything, but about learning to refuse what harms you with clarity and conviction?

🔄 Wellbeing requires enemies. Not metaphorical ones. Actual ones.

We’ve been sold a version of wellbeing that’s all soft edges and open doors. Be understanding. Be compassionate. Give people grace. Keep trying. Don’t give up on relationships.

This sounds noble. It’s also exhausting. And often, it’s self-abandonment dressed up as spiritual maturity.

Wellbeing requires enemies because not everyone gets access to you. Not every belief gets to live in your mind. Not every space gets to claim your presence. Not every relationship gets to continue.

Some things must be named as enemies not because you’re being dramatic or unforgiving but because your wellbeing depends on your ability to refuse what depletes you.

Boundaries are negotiable. They’re the “please don’t do that” conversations.

Enemies are non-negotiable. They’re the “you don’t get to be here anymore” decisions.

The question isn’t whether you should have enemies.
The question is: Are you honest enough to name them?

🪞 Take a moment to reflect:

• Who or what does your body instinctively recoil from, even when your mind says you “should” be fine with it? (Certain people, spaces, conversations, obligations?)
• What relationships are you maintaining out of guilt, obligation, or the belief that “good people don’t give up”? What would happen if you let those go?
• What beliefs about wellbeing are actually making you less well? (“I should be able to handle this.” “Cutting people off is cruel.” “Real growth means staying uncomfortable.”)

🚶‍♀️Step Forward

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🛠️ TOOL: The Wellbeing Threat Assessment

This week, identify what’s actively working against your wellbeing and decide what gets expelled.

Step 1: Somatic Scan Notice what makes your body contract, tighten, or want to flee. Don’t rationalise it. Just observe.

Examples:

• Certain people’s names appearing on your phone
• Specific environments or spaces
• Particular conversations or topics
• Obligations that feel like dread, not just effort

Step 2: Name the Threat Write down what your body is telling you is incompatible with your wellbeing.

Be specific. Not “I feel stressed” but “Being around [person] destabilises my nervous system for days.”

Step 3: Decide the Expulsion For each threat, ask: Is this a boundary situation (renegotiable) or an enemy situation (must be removed)?

Boundaries: “I can stay in this relationship if X changes.”
Enemies: “This relationship/belief/space cannot exist in my life anymore.”

Step 4: Act Choose one enemy, one thing your body has been begging you to remove and expel it this week.

End the relationship. Leave the group chat. Stop attending the event. Delete the app. Quit the commitment.

Your wellbeing is not a democracy. Not everything gets a vote.

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🌱 Small Challenge

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⚡ This Week’s Wellbeing Move: The Enemy List

This week, write a physical list titled “What’s Not Welcome in My Wellbeing.”

Be ruthlessly honest. Include:

• People whose presence destabilises you
• Beliefs that keep you trapped (“I have to be nice.” “Family is forever.”)
• Spaces that drain you
• Obligations you’ve outgrown

Name it. Write it down. Let yourself see the full inventory of what’s working against you.

Sometimes clarity is the first act of expulsion.

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​WISDOM WHISPERER​
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Why this whisper? Because wellbeing has been rebranded as self-indulgence. But protecting yourself from what harms you isn't selfish, it's survival. Your body knows this. It's time your mind caught up.